Weather in MN

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in the Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in St. Paul sunbathe.

40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Cloquet gets thicker.

20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 Above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows .

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the mini-Van.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.